


Back to the Alternearth Jurassic

by Bootspy, Dragoon_sama



Category: Homestuck
Genre: 1985, M/M, alternearth, post scratch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-11
Updated: 2011-09-13
Packaged: 2017-10-23 16:21:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 76
Words: 2,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/252376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bootspy/pseuds/Bootspy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragoon_sama/pseuds/Dragoon_sama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave "Doc" Strider has done it again.  And by done it we mean creating some device that messes with time and inevitably goes wrong.  This time Karkat and Sollux are the victims of circumstance, and must brave the mighty Alternearth past to get home safely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> This was posted on AO3 as a back up in case the website failed us. Please try reading this story from [this website](http://solkar-hso.yolasite.com/) first, as it looks prettier!
> 
> -the authors

CG: OH FUCKING-   
TA: 2hiit!

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392152)


	2. Recovering

CG: UGH...  
CG: GET OFF ME YOU SACK OF BONES. I THINK YOU CRUSHED MY SPLEEN.  
TA: do you even know what a 2pleen ii2 kk?  
CG: IT'S FUCK YOU THAT'S WHAT IT IS.  
CG: WHERE THE HELL ARE WE ANYWAY? WHERE'S THE DOC? ...FUCK, NOW  
HE'S GOT ME CALLING HIM THAT TOO.  
TA: tg ii2nt here ho2er and iid 2ay we are iin a fore2t.  
CG: BRILLIANT. HOW WOULD I EVER SURVIVE WITHOUT YOUR STUNNING INTELLECT  
TO KEEP ME FROM DROWNING IN MY OWN DAMN SALIVA?  
CG: WHY ARE WE IN THE MIDDLE OF A FOREST? I'M DAMN SURE WE WERE JUST IN  
A SHOPPING MALL PARKING LOT THAT WAS DISTINCTLY VOID OF GREEN THINGS.  


## [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392385)


	3. Drawing

TA: iit2 really very 2iimple.  
TA: tg for 2ome rea2on felt the need two dre22 liike a total  
diickweed two 2how u2 hii2 late2t iinventiion u2iing technology  
you know he 2tole from gg2 room.  
TA: iit wa2 2ome 2ort of tiime 2ickle or 2omethiing ii wa2nt  
really lii2teniing.   
CG: FUCK KNOWS WHY HE DECIDED TO MAKE IT A SICKLE INSTEAD OF  
SOMETHING, I DON'T KNOW, COOLER. LIKE A CAR. A MUSTANG OR EVEN A  
FUCKING DOLORIAN FOR CHRISTSAKE.   
TA: he 2aiid iit wa2 iironiic ii dont thiink he know2 what iirony  
really mean2.  
TA: but hu2h youre iinteruptiing my 2tory.   
CG: BITE ME.   
TA: anyway you were obviiou2ly buggiin wiith the way you were  
2wiingiing iit around liike you were juiiced 2o ii triied two 2top  
you from doiing anythiing monumentally 2tupiid.  
TA: of cour2e ii faiiled because your bad karma ii2 totally mental  
and liike2 two kiick you and anyone around you 2o far up the a22  
that ii can 2tiill ta2te rubber.   
CG: THAT'S ACE. REALLY. IT'S ALL PEACHES AND FUCKING CREAM. SO  
MUCH CREAM I MIGHT AS WELL START UP AN ICE CREAMERY WITH ALL THE  
GOD DAMN EXCESS OF DAIRY PRODUCT FLOWING FROM THIS WARPED SITUATION.  
CG: I JUST HAVE TWO BURNING QUESTIONS THAT MAYBE YOU COULD POSSIBLY  
FIND IT IN YOUR PITIFUL HEART TO HELP ME OUT WITH.  
CG: WHY ARE YOUR DRAWINGS HELLA CRAP AND WHERE DID YOU GET THAT CHALK?

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392394)


	4. Chalk

TA: got thii2 from tz.  
TA: al2o dude my drawiing2 are the mo2t choiice thiing you have  
ever 2een admiit iit.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392399)


	5. Arguing

CG: BAG YOUR FACE, YOU NOID. NONE OF THIS MATTERS RIGHT NOW. IT  
MATTERS SO LITTLE THAT I'D NEED A DAMN MICROSCOPE TO SEE EVEN A  
GLIMMER OF THE AMOUNT OF MATTER ANY OF THAT SHIT HAS TO DO WITH  
THIS SITUATION.  
CG: WHAT DOES MATTER IS THAT WE'RE SUDDENLY STUCK GOD KNOWS WHERE  
WITH ONLY THIS SHODDY PIECE OF JUNK WHICH NEITHER OF US HAS A  
CLUE HOW TO USE AS OUR ONLY MEANS TO GET HOME.   
TA: jee2e kk stop wiiggiing out.   
CG: I AM NOT WIGGING OUT. THIS IS ME MOST DEFINITELY NOT WIGGED  
AT ALL. I AM TOTALLY CHILL. IF I WERE ANY CHILLER THERE WOULD  
BE ANOTHER FUCKING ICE AGE.   
TA: 2ee none of thii2 would have happened iif you had ju2t kept  
your cool iin the fiir2t place.  
TA: ii told you anythiing that diickweed tg wa2 iinvolved wiith  
would turn out two be a total 2cratch.  
TA: but would you lii2ten two me oh no what doe2 2ollux know  
except obviiou2ly 2o much more than you.   
CG: EAT SHIT AND DIE.   
TA: oh come on kk 2top beiing such a ho2er.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392400)


	6. Storming Off

TA: 2hiit come back kk you dont even know what2 out there!  
TA: fuck fiine waiit for me jee2e.  
TA: youre lucky iim 2o 2prung for you kk 2eriiou2ly.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392410)


	7. Cliff

CG: OH-

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392444)


	8. Trip

CG: SHIT!

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392458)


	9. Catch

TA: whiile ii 2houldnt 2ay ii told you 2o ii totally told you 2o.   
CG: BAG. YOUR. FACE.   
TA: eheheheh.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392460)


	10. View

TA: woah...   
CG: ...WHERE THE HELL ARE WE?

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392462)


	11. Reconcile

TA: okay now that we have got your priima donna 2hiit out of the  
way could you plea2e cool out and 2top falliing off cliiff2?   
CG: SHIT. THANKS, I GUESS. THIS IS STILL FUCKING BUNK THOUGH.   
TA: ju2t blame iit all on tg 2iince iit2 hii2 fault anyway.  
TA: he2 a2kiing for a fre2h one wiith all hii2 tiime crap.  
TA: unfortunatly for u2 thii2 wa2 the one experiiment two  
actually work.   
CG: YEAH...   
TA: god kk dont get all depre22ed on me that2 my job.   
CG: BITE ME.   
TA: eheheh iif you keep offeriing ii miight ju2t have two take  
you up on that.   
CG: SHUT UP YOU ENORMOUS FLAMER.   
TA: har2h kk youre one two you piitiiful ho2er.   
CG: BAG YOUR FACE.  
CG: SHIT.  
CG: JUST SHUT UP FOR ONE FUCKING MINUTE AND LET ME...

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392463)


	12. Kiss

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392464)


	13. Question

TA: kk...   
CG: WHAT.   
TA: tell me you diidnt drop the 2iickle.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392466)


	14. Facepalm

CG: UM.  
CG: SHIT.   
TA: kk you complete narbo we are completely 2crewed now.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392467)


	15. Jump

CG: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?   
TA: you know the 2ayiing go jump off a cliiff?  
TA: iim ju2t takiing iit two iit2 logiical conclu2iion.   
CG: YOU FUCKING TREKKIE NERD DON'T FUCKING TAKE ME WITH YOU!

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392468)


	16. Falling

CG: ...  
CG: I HATE YOU. PLATONICALLY, YOU MENTAL NOID.   
TA: what would you do wiithout me 2eriiou2ly.   
CG: YEAH SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE. AND WATCH WHERE YOU PUT YOUR  
HAND YOU SLEAZE!   
TA: eheheheh!

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392469)


	17. Landing

TA: okay now all we have two do ii2 fiigure out where iin thii2  
hellaciiou2 place you dropped the damn gadget.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392474)


	18. Bushwhacking

CG: FUCKING TREES.  
CG: FUCKING PLANTS.  
CG: FUCKING SUNGLASS-WEARING SCUMBAG WHOSE SOLE PURPOSE IN LIFE  
IS TO TRY AND FIND NEW AND FASCINATING WAYS TO MAKE ME WANT TO  
RALPH ALL OVER MY FUCKING SHOES IN PUTRID DISGUST AT THE FACT SUCH  
STUPIDITY EXISTS IN THIS WORLD.   
TA: wow kk dont kirk out on me now.   
CG: FUCKING NERDY MATESPRITS WHO DON'T KNOW WHEN TO STEP OFF AND  
LEAVE ME TO CONTEMPLATE SUICIDE BY POISONOUS FAUNA.   
TA: maybe iif you werent 2o bu2y ma2hiing wiith me iid beliieve  
you werent ju2t triipiin out.   
CG: BAG YOUR--

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392480)


	19. Disturbance

TA: waiit do you hear that?   
CG: WHAT, THE CONSTANT DRIPPING NOISE OF MY BRAIN LEAKING OUT MY  
EARS? OH NO, I CAN'T HEAR IT AT ALL OVER THE SOUND OF YOUR NASAL  
AS SHIT BREATHING. I SWEAR YOU'RE TRYING TO OUT-WHEEZE DARTH VADER.   
TA: funny dip2hiit no ii meant the buzziing 2ound.  
TA: iit kiinda 2ound2 liike my bee2 do when they get all kiirked  
out about 2omethiing.   
CG: NO FAKE?   
TA: come on ii want two check iit out.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392481)


	20. Beeth

CG: OH MY GOD I'M IN HELL, AREN'T I?   
TA: holy 2hiit thiink of the computiing power ii could get out  
of the2e thiing2!

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392483)


	21. Fly-by

CG: OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT IT'S GOING TO EAT ME ISN'T IT  
SOLLUX YOU FUCKING NOID STOP LAUGHING!

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392484)


	22. Thinking

TA: 2tiill ii only 2ee the drone2 here whiich make2 no 2en2e.  
TA: where are all the queen2?  
TA: they 2houlnt be lettiing the2e guy2 wiig out liike thii2.  
TA: what do you thiink kk?

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392486)


	23. Hiding

TA: kk?   
CG: FUCK YOU I'M NOT COMING BACK OUT THERE WITH THOSE MUTANT  
KILLER MUSTARD STAINS.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392487)


	24. Sigh

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392488)


	25. Snap

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392490)


	26. Sleep

TA: you are 2eriiou2ly 2uch a baby 2ometiime2 ii dont know why  
ii put up wiith you.   
CG: GET BENT. THIS WHOLE SITUATION IS TOTALLY MUNG. FUCKING  
HELL LET'S JUST FIND THAT DAMN SICKLE AND GET OUT OF THIS  
SHITHOLE BEFORE I RALPH FOR REAL.   
TA: whatever kk we wiill get you back two your preciiou2 romcom  
moviie2 2oon enough.   
CG: FUCK.  
CG: LOOK, I'M SORRY ALRIGHT? I'M JUST A LITTLE WORRIED WE'RE  
GOING TO BE STUCK HERE FOR A WHILE AND I'M KINDA HOUSING OUT  
RIGHT NOW.  
CG: ...  
CG: ARE-   
TA: ye2 were 2tiill mate2priit2 you piitiiful ho2er.   
CG: GOOD THEN.  
CG: YOU MENTAL NOID.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392491)


	27. Webs

CG: OKAY, I KNOW SERKET WOULD BE SPAZZING OUT OVER THESE GIANT  
FUCKING NETS OF STICKY DOOM.  
CG: BUT SERIOUSLY. WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THIS GOOP?   
TA: iif ii had two take an educated gue22 iid 2ay iit2 2omethiing  
that wiill try two make road piizza out of u2.   
CG: FUCKING REASSURING.  
CG: AT LEAST IF WE HAD THE DAMN SICKLE I COULD SHOVE IT IN MY  
OWN FACE AND MAYBE MAKE IT SO I WAS NEVER BORN.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392493)


	28. Senses

TA: kk my bee 2en2e2 are tiingliing.   
CG: GOD AND HERE I THOUGH YOU COULDN'T GET ANY NERDIER. THANKS  
FOR PROVING ME WRONG, DICKWEED.  
CG: AND THEY'RE CALLED EARS YOU FUCKING IDIOT.   
TA: 2orry ii cant hear you all ii can hear ii2 buzz buzz buzz.   
CG: ASS.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392495)


	29. Stuck

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392496)


	30. Surprise

TA: ...  
TA: huh.  
TA: they appear two be the queen bee2.   
CG: WHAT, THIS IS WHAT MINDHONEY BEES USED TO LOOK LIKE? WHAT  
HAPPENED, DID THEY FALL OUT OF THE EVOLUTION TREE AND HIT EVERY  
UGLY BRANCH FACE-FIRST ON THE WAY DOWN?   
TA: ii dont know ii gue22 2o?  
TA: iit look2 liike one of them ii2 caught-   
CG: OH FUCK ME!   
TA: huh?

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392498)


	31. Block

CG: GET OUT OF MY GRILL YOU FUCKING UGLY INSECT!

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392499)


	32. Blast

TA: 2piider2 are aracniid2 not iin2ect2 kk.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392502)


	33. Save The Queen

CG: HOLY SHIT THAT THING IS HUGE!  
CG: IT LOOKS LIKE A FREAKISHLY MUTATED LUSUS. WHAT THE HELL.  
WHAT THE HONEST TO GOD ABSOLUTE FUCKING HELL IS THIS THING EVEN  
DOING ALIVE? SHOULDN'T IT CRUSH UNDER ITS OWN BODY WEIGHT?  
CG: OH GOD IT'S COMING BACK!   
TA: hold iit off kk ii need two 2ave the queen!   
CG: ARE YOU FOR REAL?  
CG: OH FUCK IT ALL.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392504)


	34. Spiderbitch

CG: IF WE SURVIVE THIS SOLLUX I AM GOING TO FUCKING LIGHT  
SERKET ON FIRE.  
CG: IT'S MY FUCKING KARMIC RIGHT.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392507)


	35. Untangle

TA: okay ju2t hold on for one moment giirl ii wiill get you out  
of there iin no tiime.  
TA: ...  
TA: hey kk iif ii 2aiid thii2 wa2 fa2iinatiing would you-   
CG: TAKE A RED!   
TA: riight.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392509)


	36. Escape

TA: kk leave your giirlfriiend alone and get over here!  
TA: ii wiill totally tell ag you have the hot2 for her lu2u2.   
CG: STOP BEING SO FUCKING CRUNCHY YOU NOID.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392510)


	37. Whack

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392512)


	38. Run Away

CG: NOW BAG YOUR FACE AND FUCKING BOOK IT!

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392513)


	39. Pant

CG: ...FUCK   
TA: what?   
CG: I JUST REALIZED THAT IF I HAD KILLED THAT THING I MIGHT  
HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SAVE THE WORLD FROM SERKET'S BITCHINESS.   
TA: do you want two go back iit would be a 2erviice two the  
entiire world you know.   
CG: DON'T TEMPT ME YOU NOID.   
TA: eheheheh glad youre feeliing better kk.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392514)


	40. Hm?

TA: um...

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392516)


	41. Adoration

TA: eheheheh!  
TA: ii gue22 they liike me or 2omethiing.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392519)


	42. Jealousy

CG: HOW FUCKING LAME. WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO MESS AROUND WITH  
YOUR MALL-MAGGOT HAREM.   
TA: eheheheh.  
TA: who2 crunchy now huh?   
CG: GET REAL! WHY THE HELL WOULD I BE JEALOUS OF YOUR--OW, SHIT.   
TA: huh?  
TA: what2 wrong kk?   
CG: FUCK YOU IS WHAT'S--OW! WATCH IT!

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392526)


	43. Injured

TA: 2hiit why diidnt you 2ay you got hurt?  
TA: and ii 2wear iif iit2 a 2tupiid lame hangup about your blood  
color agaiin ii wiill giive you a fre2h one my2elf.   
CG: S-SHUT UP. IT'S NOT LIKE WE EXACTLY HAD ANY TIME BETWEEN THE  
SPIDER BITCH AND YOUR MEGA LAME BEE BRIGADE.   
TA: uh huh 2hut up and 2iit down before ii make you.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392531)


	44. Doctor

TA: 2eriiou2ly kk one of the2e day2 you wiill get your2elf  
culled and then iim going two have two fiind 2ome way of  
briingiing you back two liife ju2t 2o ii can biitch at you  
properly.   
CG: I'M SO SURE.   
TA: hu2h.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392534)


	45. Scamming

CG: QUIT SCAMMING ON ME YOU NOID.   
TA: eheheheh!

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392536)


	46. Contemplating

TA: okay were not dead yet at lea2t.   
CG: FUCKING SWEET.   
TA: oh come on you have two admiit that was a mega ru2h!  
TA: plu2 you looked pretty choiice fiightiing that thiing.   
CG: GET REAL CAPTOR. WE'RE STILL STUCK OUT HERE WITHOUT THE  
FUCKING SICKLE AND WITHOUT A FUCKING CLUE.  
CG: MY GOD IF CLUES WERE A THING THEN WE'D HAVE SO FEW OF THEM  
IT WOULD BE LIKE A SHORTAGE OF WATER IN SOME AFRICAN TRIBE  
WHERE THE WOMEN'S BOOBS HANG DOWN TO THEIR KNEES AND THE MEN  
WALK AROUND WITH BONES THROUGH THEIR FUCKING NOSES.  
CG: OR WORSE.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392548)


	47. Bzzt

TA: hmm?

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392552)


	48. Dance

Buzz buzz buzz buzz!!

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392554)


	49. That Way

TA: iit2 that way.   
CG: OH GET FUCKING REAL!

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392555)


	50. Fly Away

TA: fiine iif you dont beliieve me then iill ju2t go by my2elf.  
TA: iit cant be two hard two fiind after all.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392556)


	51. Nice Dodge!

TA: oh 2hiit!

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392557)


	52. Doof

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392560)


	53. Molded

TA: 2hiit that was 2o molded.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392561)


	54. Hey

CG: HEY YOU MENTAL NOID.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392562)


	55. Hand

CG: WE CAN FUCKING GO TOGETHER, ALRIGHT?

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392565)


	56. Leading

CG: SO WHERE THE HELL ARE YOUR BUZZING BIMBOS LEADING US ANYWAY?   
TA: one of them wa2 almo2t hiit by the 2tupiid 2iickle on her  
way two help her mother 2o 2he know2 where iit landed.  
TA: iit2 not two far from here actually.   
CG: I'M SENSINNG A MASSIVE "BUT" IN THERE.  
CG: SO MASSIVE IT'S GENERATING A GRAVITATIONAL PULL. A BLACK  
HOLE OF BUT-NESS THAT SUCKS ALL THE HOPE OUT OF THIS SHIT-O-RAMA  
OF A DAY. THE UNIVERSE IS SLOWLY BEING SUCKED INTO THE COMPLETE  
SHITFEST OF A BUT.   
TA: there2 a lot ii could do wiith your butt kk.   
CG: DO YOU EVER STOP? GOD I SHOULD JUST PUNCH MYSELF IN THE  
FACE AND PUT MYSELF OUT OF MY MISERY NOW.   
TA: eheheheh.  
TA: anyway ii wa2nt goiing two 2ay but ii wa2 goiing two 2ay  
ii could carry you iif your deliicate leg2 cant take all thii2  
exercii2e.   
CG: SAYS THE NOID WHO SPENDS ALL HIS FUCKING TIME IN FRONT OF  
A COMPUTER. SERIOUSLY, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PEELED YOUR  
LAME GLASSES AWAY FROM YOUR SCREEN?   
TA: about the la2t tiime you came whiiniig two me about how  
much ii wa2 iignoriing you.   
CG: FUCKING FIGURES.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392566)


	57. Cave

TA: thii2 ii2 iit.   
CG: FINALLY!  
CG: ...ARE YOU SERIOUS CAPTOR? THIS IS A FUCKING CAVE. I DON'T  
CARE HOW FUCKING ACE MY AIM MIGHT HAVE BEEN THERE'S NO WAY THAT  
DAMN SICKLE FLEW ALL THE WAY INTO A GOD DAMN CAVE.  
CG: YOUR FUCKING FAIRIES LED US ON A WILD GOOSE CHASE.   
TA: dont be 2uch a ho2er kk iif they 2ay iit2 here then iit2 here.  
TA: or are you 2cared they are goiing two eat u2 iif you turn your  
back or 2omethiing?   
CG: BITE ME NOID.  
CG: FINE. I'LL LEAD THE WAY THOUGH. IF I LEAVE IT UP TO YOU THEN  
WE'LL BE STUCK FOREVER AT THE FIRST FORK IN THE ROAD SINCE YOU  
WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO DECIDE TO PICK ONE FUCKING ROUTE OF THE TWO.   
TA: of cour2e only you could lead u2 two 2afety ii forgot.  
TA: fiine let2 go 2how me your magniifiicent leader2hiip 2kiill2 kk.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392567)


	58. Scared

CG: HEY NOID, ISN'T YOUR CHEERLEADING SQUAD GOING TO FOLLOW?   
TA: hmmm.  
TA: iit look2 liike they dont want two come iin the cave.  
TA: maybe iit2 two dark for them?   
CG: OR MAYBE THEY LOOK SCARED OUT OF THEIR TINY MINDS.  
CG: ARE YOU FUCKING SURE WE CAN TRUST THEM?   
TA: ye2.  
TA: but...maybe we 2hould be on our guard ju2t iin ca2e.   
CG: GOD, BAG YOUR FACE AND LET'S JUST GET THIS OVER WITH.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392568)


	59. Dark

CG: FUCKING ROCKS.  
CG: FUCKING SICKLE.  
CG: FUCKING DARK THAT'S ALMOST TOO SHITTY TO SEE THROUGH. THIS  
IS SO MAJORLY MUNG DAMNIT.   
TA: ii dont know iit would make iit really ea2y two ma2h wiith  
you agaiin.   
CG: FUCKING PERVERT MATESPRIT WHO REALLY WANTS MY FOOT CRAMMED  
UP HIS ASS RIGHT NEXT TO MY FUCKING KARMA.   
TA: eheheheh good memory kk.   
CG: HANG ON. IT'S GETTING LIGHTER UP AHEAD.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392569)


	60. Emerge

CG: WHOA...   
TA: whoa...

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392576)


	61. Geode

TA: iit2 liike the iin2iide of a geode.   
CG: WHY IS EVERYTHING HERE SO MUCH FUCKING BIGGER THAN BACK  
HOME?   
TA: not everythiing--   
CG: BAG YOUR FACE. IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE YOU WON'T FINISH  
THAT SENTENCE.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392577)


	62. Sounds

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392578)


	63. Turn

CG: WHAT'S THAT SOUND?   
TA: do you really want two know?

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392579)


	64. ...

CG: ...   
TA: ...

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392580)


	65. Gape

TA: ii told you.   
CG: FUCK.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392581)


	66. Strife

CG: SHIT!   
TA: you know iit2 really fa2ciinatiing when you thiink about iit.  
TA: he ii2 obviiou2ly 2ome 2ort of ance2tor of our race you have  
two wonder what happened over the centuriie2.  
TA: maybe tg ha2 2omethiing wiith hii2 tiimey wiimey 2tuff.   
CG: I AM TELLING YOU THIS AS YOUR MATESPRIT, SO CLEAR OUT YOUR  
AUDITORY SENSORS AND PAY ATTENTION.  
CG: IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP AND FOCUS ON KILLING THIS THING, I WILL  
FUCKING LEAVE YOU TO ROT IN THIS SHITPILE OF A PAST SO YOU CAN  
MAKE YOUR WAY BACK TO NORMAL TIME THE LONG WAY.  
CG: MAYBE THEN YOU'LL HAVE LEARNED WHEN NOT TO SPEW YOUR ABJECT  
STUPIDITY WHERE I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO CHOKE IT DOWN LIKE A  
SECOND HAND BURGER.   
TA: thank2 for the lovely vii2ual kk.  
TA: now 2hut up and take your own adviice.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392582)


	67. From Above

CG: I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF THIS SHIT! I SWEAR I WILL GO  
TOTALLY HOUSE ON THIS CAVE-DORK'S FACE!

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392583)


	68. Push

CG: AAH!   
TA: kk!   
CG: I'M FUCKING FINE LOOK OUT YOU NOID!

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392584)


	69. Hit

TA: oh 2hii--

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392585)


	70. Get Up

CG: DAMNIT SOLLUX. YOU'D BETTER BE FUCKING OKAY.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392588)


	71. Death

CG: EAT SHIT AND DIE YOU FUCKING RICHIE!

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392590)


	72. Victory

TA: wow kk iim iimpre22ed that wa2 2eriiou2ly the tiit2.   
CG: HOLY FUCK YOU DOUCHE YOU COULD HAVE HELPED OUT A BIT.   
TA: maybe when my riib2 2top tryiing two fiind theiir way  
out my 2iide.  
TA: and ii diid help you ho2er ii found the 2iickle.  
TA: or at lea2t nearly fell on iit.   
CG: SHIT. SHIT, YEAH, THAT'S GOOD. NOT YOU GETTING YOUR  
CHEST CAVED IN, BUT THAT YOU FOUND THE DAMN SICKLE. HOW THE  
HELL DID IT GET IN HERE ANYWAY.   
TA: kk 2top wiiggiing out and come here.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392591)


	73. Hug

CG: SOLLUX.   
TA: ye2 kk?   
CG: I FUCKING WANT TO GO HOME.   
TA: heh.  
TA: 2ound2 good.

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392592)


	74. Departure

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392593)


	75. Years in the Future, Quite Many

##  [==>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/392594)


	76. Indiana Aradia

##  [==>Start Over?](http://archiveofourown.org/works/252376/chapters/391512)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reference for all the cheesy 80's terms can be found [here](http://www.inthe80s.com/glossary.shtml).  
> Once again the website for this can be found [here](http://solkar-hso.yolasite.com/)
> 
> This is set in a possible post-scratch world that is an amalgam of Earth and Alternia. Everyone is a troll, but human culture is mixed in liberally with troll culture. Not that it's terribly important, but that is why Dave is Troll Dave. :]
> 
> The rather crude summary of this work: "This whole thing is like a nerd orgasmed on a document."


End file.
